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CONKER’S BAD FUR DAY 2
He could be Xbox’s ‘Deadpool’!

PIPE DREAMS
By JAY TEE
30/04/18

At first glance, a chubby cheeked ginger squirrel exploring a technicolor cartoon world isn’t an obvious comparison to Marvel’s ‘Merc with a Mouth’. But look beneath the surface and the similarities between Conker and Deadpool are far reaching, and appear to have gone hilariously unnoticed.

Both characters skew toward adult audiences, with fourth wall breaking looks to camera and lines delivered directly to the audience. Both Bad Fur Day and the recent Ryan Reynolds flick chronicle largely selfish journeys filled with booze, foul language, and gore aplenty. But it’s their shared humour, as dark as it is hilarious, that pushes the boundaries of good taste in every good way that matters.  

Microsoft are sitting on an incredible IP here, and since Bad Fur Day originally dropped way back in 2001, it’s long past time for Conker to make his grand return. And no. I’m not counting Project Spark. The less said about that cancelled car crash of a sequel the better.

THE BASICS - Although currently unannounced, Conkers Bad Fur Day 2 is theoretically the third person platforming sequel to the incredible N64 title.

PLATFORMS - Xbox, and PC (probably)

PLAYERS - Who knows?!

CO-OP? MULTIPLAYER? - Unknown. The dream would be for some kind of campaign co-op mode, and multiplayer.

DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT - Can you imagine the madness of a Conker Season Pass?!

PIPE DREAMS? - This is an opportunity for us to dream big, with a wish list of features and ideas for brand new game announcements, as well as debating the possibilities of how a series could evolve in the future. Sometimes we’ll even speculate and pitch ideas for games that haven’t been formally revealed!

PIPE DREAMS KEY:

Crystal Ball - We speculate about potential gameplay mechanics, and things we’d like to see.

Toxic Waste - A cautionary list of things to avoid.

Hail Mary - Wild theories and/or ridiculous ideas that probably won’t be in the game… but it’s fun to dream big!

This concept artwork from Conker’s Big Reunion is wonderful, but his return as part of Project
Spark was a buggy, poorly paced, piping hot mess.

DOUBLE DOWN ON PARODY - Some of the most memorable (and challenging) parts of Bad Fur Day were the direct send ups of films and other games. The Matrix bank sequence alone is both fantastic and infuriating in equal measure. We’d love to see a fleshed out world with parodies of modern horror, superhero films, and everything in between. Imagine what Conker could say about DC!

ENSEMBLE ACTION - Bad Fur Day introduced a broad cast of hilarious supporting players, any number of which could be plucked out and developed as a second playable character with unique abilities. Perhaps some kind of campaign co-op option, where Conker teams up with Gregg The Grim Reaper, Franky the Pitchfork, or even his (spoiler alert!) deceased girlfriend Berri.

SPEND YA MULLAH - I’d love an upgradeable skill tree, full of over the top moves and silly references.

BLAM BLAM SHOOTY TIME - For me, Conker works best when the action is third person, particularly during Bad Fur Day’s insane boss fights. Although the previously mentioned Matrix shootout is a lot of fun, the sudden snaps to first person didn’t work nearly as well. Plus, his character model is too charming to view any other way!

BUCK THE TREND - Although it’s very much the trend that bigger equals better, I’d rather see smaller, densely packed levels connected to a central hub. This doesn’t need to be an open world extravaganza, nor do the environments have to stretch as far as the draw distance will allow. In many ways, the technical limitations of the N64 hardware forced a greater focus on detail.

FACK OFF! - Embrace the adult audience. This should not suffer the same fate as Live and Reloaded. No censorship please!

PAN-TASTIC - The saucepan was always hilarious, and Conker’s context sensitive actions, which granted him access to everything from a slingshot to spontaneous transformation into an anvil, were awesome. A fully fledged weapon wheel, with Saints Row levels of wackiness, would be a dream come true.  

BATTLE ROYALE - I might play a lot of Epic’s megaton effort, but I don’t need every game to inevitably include a Battle Royale mode just because it’s currently the new hotness. That being said, if Bad Fur Day 2 had one, I’d go nuts for it. Pardon the squirrel pun. The juxtaposition of Fortnite’s art style and humour with the grittiness of PUBG could be a winning formula.

GUR-HUH! - Whoever makes this game should also make a proper Banjo sequel. There. I said it.


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